After I did Yogalosophy for twenty-seven days, I realized that a set exercise routine is really good for keeping you motivated and exercising at a higher level. I decided that I’d go with another fitness kit after the show was recorded (it’s one of the reasons I want my next Where Is My Guru book to be a fun, trashy read) and ordered it while I was working on the last stages of Yogalosophy, which I’ll probably be sending off to Jenn Cusano soon. What kit did I go with? Only the most hilarious “As Seen on TV” kit ever made, Brazil Butt Lift:
Did you hear that, folks? “The butt is very complex.” This cracks me up. When the Basic kit arrived, it came with three DVDs, booklets, a tape measure, a card for writing down your original measurements, a resistance band, and a pencil for “The Pencil Test.” The Pencil Test is like something out of Mr. Blackwell’s era. I can imagine a Hollywood mogul snarking, “Did you hear that Joan failed the Pencil Test?” over a gin and tonic. I’d recommend taking your test “results” with a heavy grain of salt. Essentially, you use a pencil to see if your bum sags where it meets your thighs. You use those results, plus a picture of 4 types of booty concerns, to help determine what program you do–there are month-long DVD rotations designed to target your primary issue, whether that is lifting a flat butt or slimming your butt and thighs. I passed the pencil test, but I think that is due to my natural shape, rather than the workouts I’ve been doing. Most of the women in my mom’s side of the family have larger, rounder butts. The joke is that J. Lo finally made our body types popular. So, I imagine that some people’s Pencil Test results might freak them out and there’s a strong possibility that you can’t change your genetic inheritance entirely. I wouldn’t worry about doing the dreaded test, if the idea bugs you.
I’m on Day 4 of the Classic routine now. The music and beach scenery is energetic and fun, but the routine is still very challenging for me. There’s some dance cardio, lots of tough compound movements, like squats and lunges, plus some mat work that is similar to pilates and yoga. It really hits all the bases of exercise movement and so far, it’s not boring, because the DVD order changes every day. I’ll update periodically over the month to let y’all know how it turns out.